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Holy shit. Where do I even start.
It's been about a year and a half since I did one of these. I'm not even sure where to begin - this past 18 months has been the most simultaneously stressful and rewarding time of my life, and I'm only now getting to sit down and look back on everything I've done and reflect.
We last checked in after my trip to Glacier in August of 2015. That post is just a big wall of photos and nothing of substance beyond that. I don't even know what I was thinking, feeling, or whatever that day. I also don't like the photos anymore. I don't like the work I was making then, and I don't think past me was too stoked on it either. It's funny, that post marks the end of my interest in pursuing photography for about a year. I lost interest, my motivation and just wanted to try something new.
Don't get me wrong, I still was taking photos. My heart just wasn't in it. It felt like a chore going outside and doing anything, and I wasn't falling in love with any of the images that I was creating. I was just stuck. Being in my last year of my undergrad at OSU wasn't helping my situation either. I was simultaneously going to school full time, managing a TV station, and trying to make time for photos in between, but usually ended up taking weekends just to catch up. I wasn't sleeping, was eating horribly and just treating myself like shit in general.
It wasn't until this past summer after graduation that I found myself inspired again. I wasn't really upset that I had taken some time off - more just frustrated that I hadn't kept up with the thing I love to do the most. I think it's something every person experiences, falling in and out of love with their passions. We all hit highs and lows at some point - our interest ebbs and flows. Somewhere in there I found the motivation to keep going, to push through my own mental barriers that I had created to justify not doing anything. I found ways to change what I was doing everyday and challenge myself with new knowledge and workflows that kept me on my toes. Learning photoshop and editing older photos that I hadn't ever really given a chance lit a new fire in me. It made me change my perspective on my own work, and how much I appreciate the time and energy other people put into their own.
Basically my style changed. Not overnight, not even in a month. It took a lot of time, a lot of absorbing the work of other people, analyzing the things I loved about it, and applying that to my own life. Patience has been key. Learning from the mistakes and stories that other people have made. I'm not done either. Learning isn't something that you can ever be done with, and it's something that I had to teach myself how to do, and to appreciate. I had to force myself out of a creative rut, and get moving again because I was the only person who could do it.
The shift wasn't dramatic. In fact, I think it's been more mental than anything. But it's a shift that has redefined how I look at photography, and how I want to be sharing my own stories. How critical it is to be personal, to share your experience and knowledge with others if you want them to really connect with your work. It's not about performer and audience, it's about being a community and starting a conversation. Being real with people and giving each other a chance to respond in kind.
So I'm rededicating this platform as a blog. It lends itself perfectly to stories, and I need to get better at sharing mine. Images are nice, but there's always something behind them that needs explaining. I want to get better at that. I've revamped my website this past month and it should point here soon. If you want the story behind the shots, you come here. I'll be updating it as often as I am taking trips. I have plenty to write about, so they should be coming frequently.
If you're reading this, thank you. Your support means so much to me and is what keeps me going day-to-day. Feel free to reach out any time, I would love to chat and grab some coffee or something.
