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This year I spent my birthday alone.
Okay not entirely, and not in a bad way at all. In fact, it was totally my decision and if I had to go back in time and relive it I wouldn't have done it any differently. So bonus points for starting level 24 off with a good decision.
In a world where interconnectivity is key and most people get crippling anxiety over the fear of missing out, spending a day by yourself - much less a birthday where you're expected to surround yourself with people and be the center of attention the whole time - sounds really weird and kind of sad. But it was actually incredibly refreshing, and allowed me some much-needed time to reflect and think about what my next moves are. Over the last few years I've definitely become much more introverted, and the thought of a whole day without feeling pressured to keep appearances up for other people and just do whatever I felt like was too good to pass up. What do you even do for a 24th birthday party? Just get drunk with your friends for the bajillionth time? Nah man I'm an adult or something now, I got better stuff to do.
So I woke up at 9:30, roughly three hours later than I intended to, because I wanted to go shoot sunrise. I had a late night the day before, so I guess at some point I must have said screw it and turned my alarm off without really thinking about it - I was disappointed in myself for being lazy, but honestly needed the extra sleep more than anything. Especially with the day I had ahead. My dad was home for the weekend and he wanted to get breakfast with me before he had to head back up to Washington for work too, so he, my mom and I all jumped in the car and rolled over to the restaurant that my brother cooks at to gorge ourselves on omelettes and coffee.
I guess I should rewind a little bit and talk about my family and life situation. It informs a lot of what I'm doing currently, so it should fit in well here. My parents both work in the healthcare field. My mom commutes out to the coast every day and has a very confusing job in public health that I don't really understand but she loves. It has to do with patient data security, safety regulations and negotiating between the state government and the local hospitals there - super convoluted and unique but she's great at it. My dad works two full-time jobs. During the week, he works up at the naval base in Bremerton, WA as a counselor for the soldiers, vets and their families, mainly treating PTSD and related issues. On the weekends he works in Salem, OR as an addictions specialist and leads the department for a private practice there. So he's always busy, but we see him pretty frequently and he thrives on always having something to do. When I was in middle school my dad went back to college and got a bachelor’s in Psychology and a master’s in Social Work. Both of my parents dropped out of college back in the 80’s to move to the east coast for their careers, so him deciding to go back to school was a really big deal and has probably influenced my own education more heavily than anything else. Philomath is their home base, and they make sure to spend every weekend together until my dad is done with his contract with the navy and moves back full time.
My brother Tyler is two years younger than me and a complete badass. He spent a year at Oregon State before deciding that it wasn't for him at the time, and chose to pursue culinary endeavors in the meantime. He works at a restaurant in our hometown that people come to from all over the state for their world-class barbecue and gluten-free bakery. He also slays on the guitar and is working on his black belt in kung fu. Basically just a really talented dude that I always love spending time with, and he always hooks it up with waaaay too much food whenever we eat at his restaurant. Dope.
So after I finished college and didn't have any real plans for the future, I moved home and focused on saving up some money so I can travel a little more this year and like, eat and stuff. You know, the basics. It's slow going but that's where I'm at. If I've learned anything these past few years during school, it's that everyone takes different paths in life to get wherever they're going, and a lot of times that involves sticking out the weird lows and being patient until their hard work pays off. This phase in my life feels like that: just keeping my head down, putting in the hours to perfect whatever it is that I'm working on, and waiting patiently for a big break.
Anyway, back to the main storyline. After breakfast with my dear family, I immediately hopped on the road and headed up to Portland to see Jordyn. I had never seen the Nike World Headquarters before, and she was able to take a long lunch break to show me around. It was absolutely incredible, an enormous college-esque campus that was filled with beautiful buildings, wandering trails and trees surrounding a big lake right in the middle of it. I really only scratched the surface of it, but what I saw was seriously cool.
Jordyn also had an insane surprise for me, the lens I've been looking to buy for years but never sprung for. She found it at a store downtown for an amazing price and just went for it - possibly the most incredible gift I've ever received, and I can't thank her enough. So armed with my new favorite lens and an entire day of possibilities ahead, I said goodbye to Jordyn and booked it from Portland to the coast.
The Oregon Coast is a very special place to me. When I was two, my parents moved across the country to Lincoln City from Maine. My brother was born there shortly after, and a couple years later we relocated to Philomath where they live now. My formative years were spent just a couple blocks from the ocean, so being back always fills me with a sense of nostalgia and sort of hits a mental reset button in my head. I didn't go back to Lincoln City this time, choosing instead to head to Pacific City to catch the sunset and explore a little bit more than I have in the past. Usually when I'm there I'm limited by the amount of daylight left, or being on a time crunch to head to the next spot. This time, I could do whatever I wanted and intended to see some stuff I'd never had the time to before.
So I pulled into the parking lot after a couple hours of driving through the Coastal Mountains, and boom - EVERYONE FROM OREGON WAS AT THIS PARTICULAR BEACH. I mean not really, but I grossly underestimated how many people would be there, totally spacing the fact that it was a relatively nice Sunday afternoon in February. The beach was crawling with people, but it made for interesting subjects and I was still able to do my own thing without much interruption.
So I climbed around on the rocks for a bit, shot some photos of that big rock that everyone take pictures of, and then got sick of the crowds and went off to find a place I could have to myself for a few minutes while I passed the time before sunset. I realized that I had never explored the cliffs on the north side of the cape, so I hiked out around the dunes, only slipped and fell twice on the rocks, and arrived relatively unscathed on top of the seaside cliffs that I had only ever seen from a distance.
These things were dope. I can't believe I've never seen them up close before. Honestly I think they were way cooler than the part of the cape that directly overlooks the big rock thing. Right as I crested the cliffs and began taking photos, the sun popped out from behind the thin clouds and began to set on the horizon, lighting up the waves with some incredible golds and greens. I walked around there a little bit, chatted with some other photographers who were enjoying the views, and then began the long walk back down to the beach.
I've never spent much time on this particular beach, usually opting for the sandstone cliffs and caves that make up the northern end of the cape and look out over the big rock thing. But this time there were people out camping everywhere, building bonfires and playing music and overall just enjoying the scene. At this point the sunset had progressed into an insane assortment of colors, framed between the silhouettes of the rocks out in the ocean and lighting up the wet sand like a giant mirror. I spent the next hour or so running around and snapping photos, waiting for people to abandon their bonfires and then sneaking in to get some photos before they returned. Probably not the best practice but nobody got mad so all good right? It wasn't long before night set in and it was completely dark, so I made my way back to my car to shed my wet clothes, slide into the birks and begin the trek home. I looked through the photos on my camera I had shot with the new lens and was seriously impressed. They were easily some of my favorites I had ever shot on the coast, and I couldn't wait to get home to play with them.
But first I had other things to attend to. I raced home to meet up with my brother, who had said earlier that he wanted to get dinner together and I wasn't about to turn that down. As soon as I got back we ran over to Corvallis and pounded some burgers, and then went back to his place to play some video games before I realized how late it was, how tired I was, and how early I had to be up for work the next morning. I headed home, transferred all of the photos from the day to my hard drive for editing, and promptly passed out before they even finished.
So that was my day. It was 90% driving, which isn't very interesting but really let me spend some time figuring out what I want to do with my life and do some mental reorganization. Not saying I have everything figured out, but it sort of feels like I just cleaned my room and put everything right where it needs to be, except the room is my brain and my stuff is all of my aspirations and goals and crap. Does that make sense? I don't really know at this point. It's 11:30 right now, I just drove back to Portland for the second time in as many days to visit Jordyn for her birthday/Valentine’s day, and I'm fading fast. Seriously, my whole life seems like driving these days, but I guess I can't complain. I have an amazing family, a wonderful girlfriend, and an incredible group of friends who are all supportive of whatever I do. I couldn't ask for a better group of people to surround myself with, and for that I'm thankful. The 20’s are a weird set of years, the ones that will most likely define the way you live your life from there on out, and I'm just really hoping that I make it through them in the best possible way. So I'm saying yes to random adventures, new friendships and spending the day alone to think. I'm saying it's okay to live at home for a while and get your feet set, and it's okay to be patient and grind without seeking a ton of recognition before it's earned. I’m putting energy into my health, my mental well-being and my relationships because those are what last forever and are the most worthwhile to invest in. It's a weirdly reflective and simultaneously forward-thinking phase that I think can only be described as your mid-20’s, and damn it but I'm going to do them right.
